The Chronic Consumer

Well, this is pretty ridiculous! Have you seen this product called the Fast Finger Keyboard? It’s a keyboard that features special IM keys that allow you to instantly display commonly used abbreviations such as BRB, L8R, CYA, LOL, THX, IMO, and TTYL.

I don’t know about you, but I can’t imagine spending extra money to get something like this. How hard is it to type the little abbreviations above? Maybe it’s just me…. I don’t exactly spend all day in chat rooms, so what do I know.

I go through one 16oz bottle of Coke Zero per day, which doesn’t sound like a lot as far as usual soda addicts go, but the cost still adds up. That’s why I’m thinking about getting this SodaStream home soda maker, which can reduce my soda costs significantly (if the literature is to be believed). This is a nifty little machine that allows you to carbonize water in a few seconds, after which you add some flavoring and voila — you can have any number of carbonated drinks (cola, diet cola, root beer, lemon lime, orange, grape, etc.) in a matter of minutes.

This sounds fantastic, and from the customer reviews I’ve read, the results are actually pretty good. The only thing holding me back right now is the cost of the CO2 refill bottles, which I guess is pretty high. I need to do a bit more research here, crunch some more numbers and see if I’ll actually come out ahead once I need to start buying refills.

One of the best appetizers ever, IMHO, is the Bloomin’ Onion at Outback Steakhouse. I love those things, and simply have to order one whenever we go there. Heck, I sometimes even order one to pick up at the takeout window if I get a craving. I know those things are packed with calories and after eating one I get all paranoid and spend an hour on the Internet looking for how to reduce cholesterol, but whatever. I still can’t get enough.

But it’s expensive to buy bloomin’ onions all the time, so I am intrigued by this little device I saw on an As Seen On TV site. It’s a bloomin’ onion maker — or at least a holder for the onion so you can cut it crosswise to get that open flower look. You’d still have to dip the onion in batter and deep fry it yourself. Oh, and there’s the matter of the sauce, of course. Can’t have a bloomin’ onion without the dipping sauce!

I don’t know… This thing probably would save a ton of money in the long run, but I honestly can’t see myself going to all this time and trouble to make my own bloomin’ onion. I think I’m going to pass on this.

Have you seen the new Monopoly: Revolution Edition that’s currently on sale? I haven’t come across it in stores (I rarely venture into the board game aisle), but I read an article about it. Instead of a square board, the playing surface is round; instead of paper money and a banker’s tray, there’s an ATM system; and instead of the metal tokens, there are now clear plastic ones.

Frankly, from looking at the picture, I don’t understand how the money thing would work. Is every player’s total simply a number instead of cash? Is the total kept track of in the middle section there? I have no idea.

As I said, I’m not a big Monopoly fan, so I probably won’t be buying this version anytime soon. Still, if you have it, I’d be interested in hearing how it stacks up against the old-school game.

So now that everyone has had a few days to mull over the Apple iPad, it seems that most people agree that the only ones who will buy this thing are total Apple fanboyz. After all, what seems to be the purpose? If you want a phone, then the iPhone is the product for you. If you don’t need the phone component, then why not just get a touch? I’m not sure what this bigger tablet is supposed to accomplish — especially when it doesn’t even come with a physical keyboard. Seriously, if you wanted to sit there and tap out 500-word blog posts on the virtual keyboard, the iPhone or iPod Touch would work just as well, right?

And the price. The iPad starts at $499, then moves up to $599 and $699 depending on the storage size. Data packages will cost extra. For worldwide users waiting on the 3G model, those will cost $629, $729, and $829. Wow, for those prices I can pay off a whole year’s worth of low cost term life insurance premiums or something, ya know? That’s pretty insane!

Look, I like iPods as much as the next person and have a bunch of them. But I’m getting tired of people falling all over anything and everything Apple releases just because it’s from Apple. In other words, no iPad for me!

(AP Photo/Paul Sakuma)

I’m not really in the market for a DVD player right now because my DVR handles discs as well. But I couldn’t help but be wowed by this nifty little number from Samsung while I was browsing around online today. I absolutely love the shape and color, and think the design simply blows other models away. I’m telling you, if I was going to buy a DVD player right now, it would be this one! It’s sooo sweet!!!

Have you heard of this thing called Perfect Flush? It’s a little contraption that you install on your toilet that subsequently allows you to control the volume of the flush — in 10 different increments. This is supposed to save you money on your water bill and keeps the green folks happy as well. I’m not quite sure how it works or how hard it is to install, but at $79, it might be worth trying if you have a big family.

Incidentally, I’d venture to say that 99% of toilets in Japan have controlled flushes as a default. They come with two settings, not 10, but that seems to work well enough for them. And those types of toilets have been around for a long, long time (more than a decade, that’s for sure). Oh, well… better late than never, I guess!

I was browsing around an online store this morning and saw a bunch of t-shirts that said things like “Team DJ Pauly”, “Girls Love The Situation”, and “Team Sammi Sweetheart”. I had no idea what those were for until I did some research and figured out the merchandise was related to the MTV series Jersey Shore.

I’ve never watched the show, but have heard about some of the controversy it has generated, especially in terms of perpetrating negative Italian-American stereotypes. Also, there have apparently been quite a few punches thrown during filming, including an infamous shot where a female gets slugged in the face by a bar patron. Nice. I mean, aside from increasing online searches for Orange NJ dental implants and giving Zazzle entrepreneurs something to peddle, what does this show actually contribute to society? I’m sick of how MTV “reality shows” thrust all these wannabe celebs on us. Now we’re going to be hearing about Ronnie, Nicole, Vinny, and all the rest for the next 10 years. Thanks much, MTV — not.